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M A Y / J U N E 2 0 1 1
A W A R E N E S S M A G A Z I N E /
/ A W A R E N E S S M A G A Z I N E
M A Y / J U N E 2 0 1 1
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I learned from the Institute of
Heart Math is called the "Inner
Ease Technique." It's a 3-step pro-
cess to shift you from the Stress
Response to the Love Response,
which is a physiological state
that has its own brain activity,
heart rhythm and bio-chemical
counterparts.
First, put the palm of your
hand over your heart. This sim-
ple action releases the hormone,
oxytocin, which is called the
"love hormone." It's what we
feel when we feel bonded and
connected with each other. Sec-
ond, imagine you are breathing
in and out, slowly and gen-
tly, through your heart. This is
called heart-focused breathing.
On every in-breath, the last step
is to imagine you are breathing
in care and self-love from your
whole heart and infusing it into
your being. I do this technique
three times every day, and I've
been feeling an amazing expan-
sion in my heart.
Randy: Most women hate
some part of their bodies. how
do we love that which we find
unlovable about ourselves?
marci: That is key. We've been
taught that we need self-esteem,
which is fine, but that's condi-
tional: I love myself or accept
myself because I look a particu-
lar way, or because I'm a great
person, or because I do a great
job. Unconditional self-love
means "I love myself no matter
what." Most people spend more
time every day focusing on how
they look, rather than on how
they love.
Randy: That's an important
distinction.
marci: The purpose of our life
is love. It's our job description
on earth. During our life review
at the end of our lives there's
only one question that's asked
of us, which is, "How much did
you love?"
This is the final exam and you
can't cram for it at the end. It
doesn't matter what you do in
life; our job is to love and to
expand our capacity to love.
Love is the truth of who we are.
That's why we're so hungry to
experience it. When we experi-
ence love, we're in touch with
our essence. We all know that
feeling. Pain, disappointment
and heartache are simply the
disconnection from the essence
of who we are as love.
The reason it's so fabulous to
be around people who are living
in a state of unconditional love
is that it's contagious. You want
to be around them. A year ago I
met the Dalai Lama. It doesn't
matter whether he's meeting a
head of state or a person on the
street. He feels the primary es-
sence of each person and con-
nects to everybody with love.
Randy: What are some ways
we can express unconditional
love?
marci: Through words and acts
of kindness. We can use words
to express our gratitude and ap-
preciation. It's been shown that
acts of altruism are physically
good for us; they change our
physiology -- as long as we're
not giving at our own expense.
When you give and can't re-
ceive, or over-give, you aren't in
that state of unconditional love;
you're giving to please, to have
people like you in return for your
giving. That's not pure giving.
Randy: Can everyone reach a
state of unconditional love?
marci: There is a happiness
set point, which is the range at
which our happiness hovers. No
matter what good or bad hap-
pens to us, within a year, we will
return to our original set point.
This set point can change; it's
50% genetic and 50% based on
one's habits. You can raise your
set point by changing your hab-
its.
I believe we also have a "love
set point." If we start to expe-
rience more love, unless we've
expanded our "container," we
will unconsciously sabotage it
because we'll generally stay at
the level we're comfortable with.
But you can raise your love set
point.
Randy: how so?
marci: Practice opening up to
receive. If you're given a compli-
ment, take it in. It takes a full 20
seconds for us to register when
something positive happens to
us. We have what science calls
a "negativity bias" where we
mostly remember that which
is negative. If you receive ten
compliments and one criticism
on the same day, you'll remem-
ber the criticism. Reverse this by
favoring the positive. Let those
compliments settle into your sys-
tem for a full 20 seconds.
Randy: With so much conflict
around the world, do you think
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