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(Continued on page 6)
M
arci shimoff is the
author of the #1
new york Times
bestseller,
happy
for No Reason,
six
Chicken Soup for the Soul
books, and Love for No Reason:
7 Steps to Creating a Life of
Unconditional Love. One of
the best-selling female nonfic-
tion authors of all time, her
books have topped all major
bestseller lists, with 14 million
copies in 33 languages sold.
marci, who is featured in The
Secret, is also
the host of the
national Pbs television spe-
cial, happy for No Reason
.
I'd been looking forward to
interviewing marci regarding
her new book, Love for No Rea-
son, because my long-term re-
lationship had just ended, and I
was hoping she would show me
some ways to heal my heart. The
simple practices marci shared
have been immensely helpful.
If your heart is in need of ten-
der, loving care -- or if you want
to expand your capacity to love
greater and deeper -- Love for
No Reason receives my highest
recommendation. Visit: www.
Thelovebook.com
Randy Peyser: I think the
beatles said it best: "All we need
is love." Yet don't most of us
practice conditional love?
marci shimoff: Yes, people
want love but our society has
trained us to love conditionally.
We think we'll feel love when
the right person shows up. Love
in a relationship is a wonderful
thing, but I call that kind of love,
"love for good reason." That's
the kind of love that comes and
goes.
What I believe people want
most deeply is "love for no rea-
son," or unconditional love, a
love that transcends a particu-
lar relationship or situation, a
love that you feel whether you
have a romantic partner or not.
Living in love is not only what
we want, but it's also our pur-
pose for being on the planet.
Randy: I once heard that the
phrase, "Love is a state of being,
not a relationship."
marci: That's exactly what
I mean. We generally think of
love as a stream of energy go-
ing between two people. When
we think of love that way we
become what I call, "Love Beg-
gars." We walk around with our
little cup, hoping to get our ful-
fillment from other people. We
miss that we're the ocean of
love!
Love is who we are. When we
recognize and experience that,
instead of being Love Beggars,
we become "Love Philanthro-
pists." We naturally overflow
with love and it's effortless. It's
not something we have to do; it's
a natural outcome of who we're
being.
Randy: When we don't get
back what we're putting out, dis-
appointment comes up.
marci: The more we live in
this state of unconditional love,
the less we have an attachment
to how someone responds to
us. When we're giving love and
want a response in return, that's
conditional love. That leads to
disappointment. As we develop
this inner state of love, we're
less attached to someone else's
response. Their response is more
a reflection of them, than it is
of us. We feel freedom when we
don't have a need for someone
to respond back.
In the meantime, if you're
not there yet -- which most of
us aren't -- then we have the
ability to love ourselves so when
we do feel disappointment, we
welcome that feeling and al-
low it to go through us. Arjuna
Ardagh, one of the 150 "Love
Luminaries" I interviewed, said,
"Any feeling fully felt turns into
love."
Randy: The people whom I
know who are unconditionally
loving have all had some kind
of transcendent experience. For
example, you share the story of
bill baumann, a popular work-
shop facilitator who lay down
on his stage, experienced a sense
of paralysis, and re-emerged as
pure love.
marci: Some of the people I
interviewed, like Bill, spent their
lives doing everything they could
to remove the blocks to love and
then had some kind of spontane-
ous awakening. Bill discovered
he was no longer his body or his
personality. He was filled with
love. That forever changed him.
Eckert Tolle had a similar expe-
rience. You might think these
are random experiences, but in
many cases, people set up the
circumstances in their lives to
welcome in that kind of divine
grace.
Randy: how do you think peo-
ple set it up?
marci: I identify 7 doorways
to setting up this experience of
love for no reason. These door-
ways correlate to our energy
centers, our chakras, and each
doorway allows us to experience
a greater state of unconditional
love.
Randy: Can you share an ex-
ample?
marci: Sure. One of the door-
ways is the "Doorway of Uncon-
ditional Self-Love." Our rela-
tionships mirror our relation-
ship with ourselves. When we
don't love ourselves we can't
love others. For example, Sally,
who I interviewed, was rushed
to the hospital just before her
50
th
birthday. She needed a liver
transplant within three days or
she'd die. This shocked Sally be-
cause she wasn't a drinker and
she'd never had liver problems.
Fortunately, an organ donor was
found, she had the surgery, and
all was well for a year. Then the
second liver started failing.
Sally was sitting in her doc-
Opening the Door to Unconditional Love
An Interview with
Marci Shimoff
by Randy Peyser