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tor's waiting room next to an
angry, critical woman who was
having her third liver transplant.
This reminded Sally that in Chi-
nese medicine, all our organs
are related to a particular emo-
tion, and the liver was associ-
ated with anger.
So she asked herself, "Where
in my life am I angry?" She re-
alized she was angry at herself.
She was self-critical and never
thought she was good enough.
That moment, Sally made a com-
mitment to practice uncondi-
tional self-love every day. Four
months later, her doctor said, "I
have no idea what happened. It
is a miracle. Your liver is healed."
That was 18 years ago.
This shows the power of un-
conditional self-love. At the In-
stitute of Heart Math, they found
that five minutes of anger sup-
presses the immune system for
six hours, whereas five minutes
of love, caring and compassion
will strengthen the immune sys-
tem for six hours.
Randy: If you're feeling an-
gry, isn't it good to get it out?
marci: Yes, but that doesn't
necessarily mean to express it
to the person you're angry at or
to repress it; it means to wel-
come the feeling and let it flow
Ask yourself, "What is the
most loving thing I can do for
myself right now?" If you ask this
question every day, you start
retraining yourself to give care
to yourself, rather than to ignore
Randy: It's been my experi-
ence that the people who do the
deep work of feeling their grief
develop the greater capacity to
experience much more joy.
marci: I agree. They say that
when you're writing a book you
should be careful about what
you're writing because you will
be vested in it. No sooner had I
signed the contract for Love for
No Reason when my husband
and I decided to divorce. It was
a loving divorce but it was still
challenging. Over the next six
months, three friends died, we
sold our family home of 58 years
that I'd been very attached to,
and three days later, my mother
So, I practiced everything that
my interview subjects shared.
I felt guilt, pain, and grief. But
because I was practicing these
techniques of love, I got through
the experience much more easi-
ly. These techniques were a salve
to help me experience love in
the midst of all the challenges,
sadness, and grief.
Randy: Can you share some
marci: One of my favorites is
pono pono, the ancient
consists of saying these four sen-
Please forgive me.
I love you."
You don't say them out loud.
You feel them in your heart to-
ward anyone you are holding
a grudge against -- including
I've had miracles happen
with this technique. For exam-
ple, my sister and I had an argu-
ment and weren't talking. Three
months later, my family gath-
ered to move my mother into an
assisted-living facility. My sister
and I wouldn't even make eye
contact. After 3 hours, I felt so
uncomfortable I decided to sit in
my car and do Ho'o
for her and for me
. I did it for
only ten minutes and my heart
melted. I felt great compassion.
I went back inside and within
four minutes, my sister reached
for my hand. That day, there was
a huge shift in our relationship.
Randy: So, forgiveness is
marci: Yes. Write down five
areas in your life where you
haven't forgiven a person, a situ-
ation, or yourself, and practice
as an experi-
ment. Then see what shows up
in your life.
Randy: Can you share anoth-
marci: Sure. This is an exer-
cise contributed by author Ra-
phael Cushnir about dealing
with difficult feelings. Imagine
stepping into a warm bath, and
as you do so, your body natural-
ly relaxes. Now feel the feeling
you're resisting and invite it in
with you into that bath. In relax-
ation, difficult feelings dissolve.
It's only when we tense up that
feelings get more lodged in our
cells. Another simple technique
(Continued from page 5)
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