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/ A W A R E N E S S M A G A Z I N E
J A N U A R Y / F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 1
J A N U A R Y / F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 1
A W A R E N E S S M A G A Z I N E /
/ A W A R E N E S S M A G A Z I N E
J A N U A R Y / F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 1
As we celebrate the New Year,
this is a good time to look at
what it takes to be happy -- and
to keep all those resolutions so
many of us make.
We all know the drill: we write
a hopeful list of New Year's reso-
lutions to start exercising, lose
weight, learn a new language,
clean up our financial act, be
better parents/lovers/spouses.
Yet these resolutions get ditched
before our New Year's Eve cham-
pagne goes flat.
It's not about the resolution or
goal itself ­ it is how we work
with those resolutions after we
set them. The fact is, most peo-
ple don't understand what it
takes to create significant and
lasting change. That is why so
many people are interested in
Huna, the ancient Hawaiian sci-
ence of consciousness, energy
and healing.
Using Huna principles, we
can go beyond just making res-
olutions and take action toward
creating health, wealth, love and
happiness in the coming year. It
starts with understanding that we
are responsible for creating our
own prosperity, and taking ac-
tions every day toward the life
we want.
It's the same with happiness.
It would make everyone's life
easier if they had control over
other people's emotions. I am a
father, a teacher, and a boss. If
I could make my kids, students,
and employees happy with a
wave of a wand, that would be
great. However, it doesn't work
that way.
Recently, my 11-year-old son
and I were talking about what
parents want most for our chil-
dren. I explained to him that the
big three I hear all the time in my
workshops are wanting our chil-
dren to be happy, become suc-
cessful, and to be good people.
I told him that, no matter how
much any of us might want it,
we can't actually be in charge
of someone else's happiness or
success. At the end of the day
everyone needs to be in charge
of whether or not they are suc-
cessful. I can teach my son cer-
tain things and show him certain
techniques that will help him be
successful. After all, I teach these
in my trainings, and many of my
students have become very suc-
cessful. However, ultimately to
become successful one must
practice these techniques. By
that time my son will be over
18 and his success will be in his
My son discussed how he
works hard at making people
happy. He explained how he
wants to make his teacher happy
with his grades and work, and
he wants to make his parents
happy with his behavior, and he
wants to make his friends happy
while he is with them. In fact, it
seemed this was a good portion
of his day. And yet he said he
was not happy!
As a parent I might have a
misconception that I have con-
trol over my kids and could make
them be happy. However, I know
I don't have that level of control
over my friends and students.
So I asked my son if he has that
level of influence (like a parent
has with a child) with his friends
and teachers. He of course said
"no." I also asked him, "what do
you think your friends want?" He
responded that they want him to
be happy.
So I told him. . . "You don't
have any influence over others
to force them to be happy. And
if you spend all your time trying
to make someone else happy,
and then fail, it makes you un-
happy. Here you are wanting to
make others happy, only to be
unhappy in the process." My son
I think we all experience this
in our lives. We spend all this
time miserably trying to make
other people happy, something
we obviously can't do. We do
it because we want to see other
people happy all around us. But
the paradox is, the harder we
try, the more miserable we get.
Others pick up on these nega-
tive feelings and the process just
keeps spiraling down.
Why not just be
happy yourself and do what
makes you happy? Then other
people will see that you are
happy and respond to your joy.
If people do this with the goal
Huna and Happiness for the New Year
by Matthew b. James
Dr. Matthew B. James
President of Kona University
As seen on Fox News
and Inside edition
OR CALL: 800-800-MIND
Power up your spiritual, emotional, and
personal life with the energy inside yourself!
Huna is the original art and science of
healing and spiritual development of
the Hawaiian people.
HUNA for Wisdom, Trust, & Happiness
of seeing others happy, then this
would work. All we have to do
is be happy ourselves to begin
that process.
So my thinking, with every-
thing I've learned in psychology
and communication skills, is
that we should all give up try-
ing to make other people happy
because it's im-possible to have
that level of control over some-
one else. If we instead begin to
focus on being happy ourselves,
then I believe we will begin to
see happy people all around us.
Try it and see the difference it
makes for you and those around
you in 2011.
Matthew b. James, MA, Ph.D.,
is President of Kona University. his
new book, "The Foundation of huna:
Ancient Wisdom for Modern Times,"
details forgiveness and meditation
techniques used in hawaii for hun-
dreds of years. he carries on the lin-
eage of one of the last practicing
kahuna of mental health and well-
being. You may e-mail him at info@
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