By Maryel McKinley
Enthusiasm Is Secret #2



Enthusiasm comes from the root word En Theos, or “In God” or “In Spirit”. To be in the spirit is to be in ecstasy, to be impregnated with a sense of the essence of life, to rejoice for the sake of rejoicing. One of the major reasons couples divorce is boredom. When you include enthusiasm as one of the core elements of your union, then boredom will not be able to sprout its ugly head.

Boredom is like a slow cancer that will kill any well-established relationship. Keeping the passion alive in your relationship is the responsibility of both partners; but please don’t use this as an excuse to wait around for the other person to be enthusiastic first! It begins with you as an individual.

When you are happy with yourself and who you are as a person, you will bring more excitement to the relationship. In other words, have your own life, have your own hobbies, have something that you do without your partner so you can maintain enthusiasm for life on your own without trying to get fulfillment from the other person. Then, you will be recharged and will have an easier time bringing that enthusiasm home to the relationship.

In order to keep enthusiasm we must first have a goal or dream to strive for. Maybe you have it all, a business, tons of money in the bank, and your dream home. Then what? Find something you want to learn. Volunteer for an organization together, donate your time to a nonprofit endeavor ,or start your own. Helping others is one of the most fulfilling experiences life has to offer. Remember, happiness comes from within, not from without.

Finding a deeper meaning and purpose to your life is really what enthusiasm is all about. Remember the root word is In Spirit, and this means that whatever it is  you truly love to do is what enthusiasm is, and in doing this you will feel the spirit of God flow through you.

However, there is a catch. You can’t expect the Spirit of God to glow, grow and flow through you if you are cluttered up inside with negative attitudes, old resentments, and self-centered fear, blame and shame-based feelings of guilt and self-pity.

Therefore, in order to receive the Spirit, we need to position ourselves to receive the blessing and miracle of The Great Creator’s energy and love. By being of selfless service, admitting our faults and making amends for harms done, we can clear our ethereal energy within so there is enough room to allow The Spirit of enthusiasm to joyfully enter our hearts.

Try remembering the things that attracted you to your mate. Make a gratitude list. You’ll be amazed at how fast your perception changes with an attitude of gratitude! Don’t wait for your mate to liven things up, be the catalyst. This clears up the negativity that may be lingering and makes room for love to come in.

This is a great time to support your partner in a project, goal or dream they are pursuing, and may be having trouble launching. Your extra push and encouragement might very well be the extra bit of energy needed for your mate to get the breakthrough idea that will make his/her dream a reality!

It has been my personal experience in my marriage that when one of us is down the other makes an extra effort to be kind, uplifting and supportive. Often-times the partner who isn’t down tends to take advantage of this vulnerable time to take out their own old baggage needing to be released.

Hence, they end up trying to avoid the bad energy by shutting down, being cold, or complaining about the other person’s bad attitude. Rather than allowing a partner to feel their own feelings, whether or not they seem merited, it is extremely important for both men and women to allow each other to freely express their personal emotions.

Through the covenant of marriage to promise each other to open our hearts and minds to being filled with the Spirit of enthusiasm, a relationship becomes a priceless blessing which will never be boring!

So next time you or your partner gets the blues, or gets bored, remember it’s up to you individually to clear the way and invite enthusiasm into your relationship as though the two of you are embracing and bathing each other under cool rain falling from the radiant sunlight of Spirit.

Dr. Maryel McKinley is a Doctor of Philosophy in Spiritual Counseling, a relationships counselor and Certified Addictions specialist. She is an ordained minister and would love to per-form your wedding. To contact her for a counseling session call her at (949) 887-7957. For a free marriage consultation visit the “Elegant Weddings” website at . If you would like to contribute your love story for her new book, e-mail . or visit her personal website at   

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