The Heart of Love
By Scott and Shannon Peck

How Do You Know If It’s True Love?

Who doesn’t want to fall in love?

We are so ready to be truly loved that even the whiff of success in a
new relationship causes our hearts to flutter and our minds to rejoice in the feeling that “this is the one!”  We dive into passionate expectation.

Months of dating and massive hours together result in great joy.  We experience and rejoice in being loved and in loving.  There are little, persistent signs of trouble, but they are little and we expect them to be healed.  We continue in the expectation of love success.

As we write this column, we have in mind several wonderful, immensely lovable people.  All were right at this stage of love until those little signs transformed to tension or breakup.

One friend, crying while trying to figure out why her expected long-term lovemate suddenly ended the relationship, asked “How do you know if it’s true love?  I thought this was the real thing!” Another woman is still with her man, but the tension is thickening.  Does he really honor her? She thinks so, but . . .  Another woman was in an ecstatic relationship with a lovemate, but her light was brighter than he could rise to.  How can each of these immensely lovable women find and experience the love they deserve? One day last week, walking on the beach on our 86th anniversary (in months) and sharing our feelings openly with each other, Shannon said, “You know, Scott, nothing is missing in our relationship! Nothing!” It’s another way of saying that our love is off the charts!  So how can we help our friends above — and you — experience this too?

Here’s what isn’t missing from our love.  Think of these as standards for the love you deserve and don’t settle for less:

• There are no hidden feelings.  We share our deepest feelings and needs openly.  It was scary at first, but our love together is a never-ending flow of total intimacy and the immense satisfaction and freedom of not wondering where we stand.  You will never know real love until you enter this dimension — and the payoff is infinitely greater than the pain. Take the plunge men!

• There is no unkindness.  None!  We speak with tenderness, respect, and a guiding motivation to uplift, even when we are frustrated.  No, it’s not easy — but do you want to experience real love or not?  Kindness in our relationship is as present as oxygen.

• There is no lack of deep, rich, constant, overflowing honoring.  We say “I love you” in so many ways and so often that we feel loved to our bones.  We honor each other’s talents, desires, accomplishments, dreams, and anything else we can find to honor. We are cheerleaders, prayer partners, and mentors for each other.

• There is no lack of full-scale, all-over-the-map equality. We’re talking “You are totally as important as me” equality. Equal time for each other’s passions.  Equal resources devoted to each other’s needs. Equal valuing of each other’s dreams.

• There is no lack of joy.  Our time together is like a waterfall of playfulness and joy interrupted by normal life challenges. But even as we face each challenge — whether health, income, relationships, or business — we never forget we’re in love. Our little grins and whimsical words let healing and love flow constantly.

• There is no lack of spirituality.  Toss the greatest, most mind-boggling challenge at our feet — or in our face — and we come up totally spiritual. We know the power of spirituality to heal. Can you imagine the power we focus on these challenges when we combine total spirituality times two — and add in the other love bullets above.  Don’t ever hide your spirituality in love. There is no difference between true spirituality and true love.

This is the love you deserve. It’s not a dream. It’s your spiritual right! Decide to become an expert in love. Move to the consciousness of a LoveMaster. Let your being radiate nothing-missing love. Your new consciousness will lead you to other LoveMasters and you will live this column. Welcome to the Heart of Love. 

Scott & Shannon Peck are co-founders of TheLoveCenter, a non-profit organization dedicated to bringing all humanity into the heart of Love. This article is based on their weekend workshop “Becoming a LoveMaster: The Secrets of Creating Love”, their 6-cassette audio course, “All the Love You Could Ever Want,” and their book, “Liberating Your Magnificence: 25 Keys to Loving and Healing Yourself”.  Scott Peck is also the author of “The Love You Deserve: 10 Keys to Perfect Love”. Shannon Peck has been a spiritual coach and healer for 19 years. The Pecks are popular speakers and media guests. Visit  or call (800) 266-1525 for more information.

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