ASK KRS
By KRS Edstrom

Dear KRS,
I am a 47 year old woman, who is about 50 pounds overweight. Many people I know seem to have adopted a high protein diet with little or no carbohydrates to lose weight. What are the pros and cons of this type of diet? I walk everyday, but I find it really hard to get the weight off. What would be the best weight loss regimen for me? Thank you,
High Protein Curious

Dear Curious,
Let me put an end to your curiosity. Never eat a lop-sided, one-food-group diet. It is unbalanced and potentially harmful long term. I don’t care who says they lost tons of weight on it. Ask them again in about a month or two and they will have gained it back and then some — and at what cost to their health?

You know what a healthful diet is by now — minimal animal products, lots of vegetables, whole grains, fruits and, past the age of 40, soy products (for hormonal balancing). Listen to your body to learn the proper ratio of these foods for your particular needs. One body may respond better to more animal protein intake while another feels better with a higher intake of whole grain combining.

There are no short cuts — except eating less on this wholesome diet. Keep up the walks, being sure you break a sweat. In fact, keep moving in any way you can throughout the day to maintain a high metabolism (to burn more calories and body fat). You will feel better and the weight will come off, perhaps more slowly than you would like, but it will happen.
KRS

Dear KRS,
I have noticed an increase in aggression and anger in me lately regarding my 4-year-old daughter and 10-month-old-son. I sometimes find myself yelling and screaming at them for the smallest of problems or situations. I know the best thing to do is to leave the room and come back later. I just am not able to control my outbursts. I’m currently going off a medication (paxil), I have weaned myself from 10mgs a day to 2.5mgs every other day. I don’t EVER want to hurt my children, but my reactions are being to scare me. If you have any suggestions to help me get a grip, and relax and enjoy life and my wonderful children, please help.
Thanks.
Angry Mother

Dear Mother,
Don’t feel alone. Many mothers are stretched emotionally from the demands of raising young children. Unfortunately, guilt for having negative feelings about their children causes some mothers to keep their experience a secret until it is too late.

First, I suggest you consult your doctor immediately regarding your medication instead of self-medicating (“weaning yourself off” and so forth). If your current doctor is too drug-oriented in his/her approach to problem solving for your liking, find a doctor (perhaps a good gynecologist) who will take the time to listen to you and has experience with this issue.

Next, I suggest you consult a psychologist in your community who also has experience in this area. Consider a group session with other mothers having the same problem. Finally, be sure to talk openly to your spouse and family about what you are going through. Don’t be shy about asking for their help while you are healing. It is important at this time that you get the support you need so you can start feeling better and get back on track as soon as possible.

Make some time for YOU each day. If nothing else, take a wonderful tub soak with candlelight (after you’ve put your little ones to bed). Play some soft music and unwind. Also play soothing music during the day (versus the noisy and usually negative TV). Your children will respond just as positively to the music as you will.

You might also want to try some anger work. It only takes a few minutes. Alone in a room, hit a pillow as hard as you can until you are exhausted. You can use your fist or a racket or anything. Repeat 2 more times. You may even start crying as the emotions become unblocked and find their way out. Let them come. Afterwards, you’ll find yourself less angry towards the kids, life and everything else.
KRS

Dear KRS,
My wife has been exercising for 8 months, and has lost over 20 pounds. The problem is that she wants to lose 20 more pounds and for the past several months can’t seem to budge from her present weight. She’s 5 ft. and 140 pounds. She never lets herself gain more than 2 pounds and will then lose those 2 pounds. Now she’s thinking that this weight is good enough for her and she plans to start eating her favorite foods again. How can I convince her to try harder?
Desperate Husband

Dear Desperate Husband,
The first ground rule I try to establish when working with couples is that they support each other only in a positive way. No criticism, no “helpful advice” is allowed because it ultimately guarantees friction — and failure. Make no judgements, even if she gains all her weight back. This advice is extremely difficult to follow for most couples. In fact, it is often more of a psychological or even spiritual challenge for the supporting spouse than losing weight is for the other. In other words, keeping your mouth shut in regards to giving advice can be harder than keeping it shut in regards to food. Concentrate on congratulating your wife on her 20-pound loss.

Hopefully your wife’s favorite foods include some healthful choices. If so, she can focus on those foods and simply watch quantity. If she can minimize her less healthful choices the scales may tip in her favor as long as she keeps exercising. Her present plateau can actually serve a positive purpose in stabilizing the weight she has already lost. When she renews her motivation, she can focus on losing again, one pound at a time. The process may takes months or even a few years. Fast loss often means fast failure. If “all” your wife ever loses is the 20 pounds, that’s 20 pounds less than she weighed before! Give her my congratulations.
KRS

KRS Edstrom, M.S., is an author, lecturer and columnist. She is available for private sessions (by phone or in person) and seminars on meditation, motivation, stress, pain, weight loss and other personal growth issues. Her books and audios offer solutions for healthful, conscious living. For free soothing guided meditations and more, please visit KRS’ “Serenity and Meditation Corner” at
www.AskKRS.com   For more info call (323) 851-8623 or e-mail: askkrs@aol . com

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