New Choices for Men
Dr. Scott & Shannon Peck



There is a silent revolution taking place within men. It's silent because men don't talk that much. But civilization's steady push for consciousness to rise higher is calling forth the "new man."

Here are new choices for men:

1. Talking versus silence
 Many men never learned to talk. Silence feels safer. Not many men have role models for how to feel at ease just talking. Yet men are evolving out of silence, realizing that talk is actually more productive, more enjoyable, than disappearing in silence. This choice may seem silly, but what may seem ridiculously easy for women is not so easy for many men. Patience and non-judgment bring forth the ability for men to more easily make this new choice - just to talk.

2. Speaking from the heart versus speaking about things
Men talk about things real well - the iphone, large-screen LCD TV, or a sports team. Speaking from the heart is a new frontier for men, yet it is a choice more men are making. As you speak from the heart as a man, something opens up within you that allows your full self to finally become visible.

Real life takes place in the heart more than in things, and many men are now discovering the benefits. Intimate relationships flourish when there is heart talk. Problems get resolved.

Even man-to-man talk from the heart leads to conversations more on a satisfying soul level. Don't get exasperated when men take forever to get to heart territory. This is a big new choice. Many men will retreat back to the cave of silence without steady, loving support.

3. Proactively speaking from the heart versus being passive
As men open their heats, the choices for them get richer. Once men discover the benefits of speaking from the heart, another new choice presents itself - to be proactive - to be the one to initiate heart talk - or just passively wait for someone else to drag it out of you.

Men, take the plunge! Discover what happens when you start heart talk. Women will fall in love with your realness. Other men will have a model to follow. You will be the spark plug for richer communication with others. You will discover that people like you more - because they can now see more of you. Yes, being proactive takes courage, and it can be awkward, but this is one of the new choices for men.

4. Choosing relationships based on substance versus looks
Let's face it. Men have a hard time getting past physical looks. They have been raised in a culture where manhood, in general, defines the value of a woman in terms of physical beauty far more than in her substance or qualities.

Yes, every man and every woman would like to be in a relationship with a beautiful person. But beauty without substance can be hell. Imagine the most beautiful woman screaming at you because you won't talk, or spending all your money, or having no interest in anything close to your heart. That's not love. The new choice for men is to stop looking at women as primarily physical objects and see them as primarily substantial beings with intelligence, qualities, and creativity. This is a dramatic new choice for men. 

5. Collaborating versus competing
Men are used to competing. Most men grow up playing sports where one side wins and one side loses. But it doesn't have to be this way. It's possible for everyone to win in real life. Scott played tennis with a male friend and Scott always won. So one day Scott said, "I'm going to show you how to beat me."

They both laughed, but Scott coached him how to do it. Soon they were competing head to head, with lots of laughs. That's collaboration - and a richer way to live. This is a powerful new choice for men.

6. Empowering versus dominating
Let's be honest guys. We live in a civilization where men dominate, and they have for centuries. But no one deserves to be dominated. It's time for men to get on the right side of history and learn the immense benefits of empowering versus dominating. If you, as a man, start empowering those around you, especially your love mate, your relationships will expand into enormous appreciation, respect, and admiration for your strength. Yes, it takes strength to empower but the new man has this strength within and makes this new choice consciously.

7. Focusing on passion versus stuck in "work"
Most men are stuck in "work." They slave to make enough money to pay the bills and get ahead. Such intense focus on "work" creates enormous tension, even anger. Imagine what happens to a man under such conditions if he's not talking from the heart - or not talking at all. It's time for men to make a dramatic new choice - to focus at least some of their energetic strength on their passion, on what they most love. They might not make a career of it, but having an outlet for your creative passion is essential to a happy life - and happy relationships.

Well, you can see the dramatic scope of new choices for men. We stand with you, as you explore these new choices and adopt the "new man" as you. Welcome to the heart of love.

Dr. Scott Peck & Shannon Peck are Co-founders of TheLoveCenter, a non-profit organization "Calling everyone home to Love." They are authors of books on love and healing, including "The Love You Deserve," "Love Skills," "Liberating Your Magnificence," and "Love Heals" (by Shannon Peck). For lots more love, please visit We are holding the space for you to receive all the love you deserve! © Copyright 2008 Scott & Shannon Peck

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