SELF ESTEEM SAMPLER
Words of Wisdom from The Angel of Compassion
By Kay Walburger
“What the World Needs Now is True Compassion!”
This a confession from a reformed ‘Goodie Two Shoes.’ Yes, this is my story at age 69 and I feel I have the right to tell it. I have lived a long and eventful life and am a revered ‘wise woman’ by most who know me.
I was a ‘Love Child’ because my parents were deeply in love when they married and gave birth to me, their first child. My parents were very religious. They raised me to be ‘righteous’ and subsequently ‘judgmental’ as a way of serving God.
We had very high moral standards of behavior and we followed most of the teachings of ‘The Good Book.’ So I proudly became my parents’ ‘Good Little Girl.’ Many of my friends called me ‘Goodie Two Shoes’ which I took as a great compliment!
What I didn’t realize was how overdeveloped my ‘judgment’ was becoming. I was learning first-hand from my parents and many of my peers to judge other people by saying things such as: “You’ll be sorry for the rest of your life!” “This is a big mistake that will ruin your life forever.” “You should be ashamed of yourself for being so selfish, and I will never forgive you!” It seems that I not only took it upon myself to judge other people, but to sentence them to pain and suffering in my condemnation of them and their behavior.
Now, unbeknown to me, unforeseen things were taking place in my own heart, mind, and body. I later learned that in my eagerness ‘to please’ so I might be worthy of my parents’ love, and of course be respectable in my community; not to mention please God, I was becoming TOXIC and terrible chemicals were being released into my own body that would in time become life threatening! I didn’t realize that every time I judged, and yes sentenced someone else, I was in fact judging and sentencing myself!
Fast-forward a few years. I am now married to my darling husband and we have two sons who are the ‘apples’ of our eyes! Over the years I have not completely lived up to my own harsh moral code and experienced a secret guilt. Now to all the world I look pretty good. As my self-esteem teacher, Jack Canfield, puts it, I had my ‘Looking Good Act’ working on the surface. Planted deep inside I had self-condemnation eating away at me.
The next thing I know, I land in the hospital’s intensive-care unit, literally lying at death’s door! My husband is sitting by my bedside looking so lovingly at me and praying that I live. From some place inside I could hear myself cry out in a primal scream, “I want to live!” I did have my miracle and came home a new person.
I had begun my new journey into Compassion. I began attending a metaphysical church and learning that I was a ‘spiritual being’ having a ‘human experience,’ not a human being trying to have a ‘spiritual experience.’ Here, for the first time, I learned the difference between Judgment and Decrement!
Many wonderful teachers and guides came into my life, and baby step by baby step I learned how to love myself. My husband recalled that first I stopped ‘beating myself up mentally.’ Next I began to say, “I am OK.” Then I said, “I like myself.” And at long last I said, “I love myself!” (Gulp!) It seems I had started to learn Compassion!
Now as I studied my ‘Good Book’ I found it full of unconditional love called Agape! There are angels who are here to protect and guide us. There is Compassion revealed everywhere and demonstrated in sacred story after story, so why is that so hard for many of us to learn and embrace for ourselves and others?
“Why is Compassion so important?” A few years ago the publisher and editor of Awareness magazine assigned me to interview Doreen Virtue, The Angel Therapist. The interview went well and she explained to me that Angels are standing by to help in small ways as well as catastrophic events, and all we need to do is ask. She suggested that the Archangel Gabriel was ready, willing and able to help me, as a writer and storyteller. When I hung up my phone, I began to cry. For the first time in my life I realized just how loving and compassionate Angels are. They know all my secrets and everything I have ever done, yet still love me and will help me through anything!
“Compassion is so important because it is the ‘catalyst’ that changes our lives for the better. All true transformation takes place in an environment of compassion where a person can stop defending their past and begin creating a glorious future!”
What are we doing to ourselves every time we speak words of Hate, Disgust, and Condemnation for TV or movie stars, politicians, teachers, family members, friends, neighbors, law enforcement officers, people of other cultures or religions? Toxic Pollution is created in our own mind, body, emotions, and spirit. Remember compassion does not require condoning their behavior!
I learned it is vital to discern but not judge, for my own sake! I learned from my own near-death experience that compassion for myself healed me and gave me the ability to be compassionate with others.
Now in the Spirit of compassion my friends and I are out and about creating:
“Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Beauty!”*
IN MEMORY: Only three days after this article was received, Kay’s beloved husband of 42 years, Wally, passed away. Those who knew him will remember a gentle soul with a great sense of humor. His spirit will always be with us. Cards of support may be sent to Kay at P.O. Box 3901, Costa Mesa, CA 92628.
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