By Scott Kalechstein 


Holiday Sanity Ah, the holiday season is approaching, a time when Mother Nature draws us inward and Mother Culture draws us shopping. What will it be this year? Will I pass through the holidays unconsciously, in a frenzy of obligation, hurry and adrenaline, or will I let myself slow down and take it easy like the rest of the natural world is doing at this time of year? I feel determined to stay attuned to the inward call of winter and the corresponding needs of my soul . . . to slow down the pace, nurture my beingness and replenish the well within. 

A close friend of mine has a birthday in December. He is somewhat of a celebrity, a cultural icon that most civilized folks know of, admire and sometimes feel intimidated by. He has been a regular in the supermarket tabloids for two thousand years, even before supermarkets were invented. Iíve noticed, like with many Hollywood stars, people make him out to be larger than life. They put him on a pedestal, somehow hoping that his life can save theirs, and like to fixate over the details of what he said and did. His stage name is Jesus, but his friends from the old neighborhood call him Jeshua Ben Joseph. 

The most famous role of his career has been Prince of Peace, Savior of the World. (When writing the script, the Director realized that the part was far too big to be given to just one, so he cast every human being to star equally in the role. Alas, most people are so convinced theyíre not worthy of an audition, they donít realize they got the part!) Jeshua, after retiring from show business in a glorious spectacle of emotion, now works tirelessly behind the scenes, whispering lines to the rest of the cast. He guides his fellow performers to choose peace over drama, love over stage fright, and comedy over tragedy. He nudges us, when we finally become willing to listen to a director other than our egos, to step into our appointed roles and play our parts to the max. 

Jeshua does not appreciate the Academy of Christianity giving him the Oscar year after year for Best Savior. He would much rather share the statue with Moses, Buddha, The Dalai Lama, Oprah Winfrey, Robin Williams, me and you. And he would rather not have so much fuss made over him. In a recent and rare appearance on Letterman, Jeshua had this to say: ďDavid, people get the wrong idea about me. I just want to give the world a Peace of my mind! Thatís all. I didnít ask for all these religions to spring up and make such a big deal of it all. Iím basically a simple, down-to-earth kind of guy. In fact, I came down to earth to spread joy!  Just like everyone, Iíve had a few moments here and there on the cross, but Iíve laughed far more that Iíve suffered. 

Please tell those churches to take all those pictures of me off their walls. How would you like it if they framed you having a horrendous hair day and decided that was the image the world should remember you by? Oh, and another thing: if people want to celebrate my birthday, Iíd like to see them giving each other more presence! Simply being present with an open heart is the greatest gift you can give another. Slow down, ease up on the material madness and get into the spirit of the holidays. And for Christís sake (literally speaking), lighten up! Life is too eternal to be taken seriously!Ē 

Thrilled that Jesus was speaking so freely, David encouraged him to continue. Jeshua got excited, ďPeople think of me as not having political ties, but actually Iím quite politically active. Iím pro-choice, pro-life, and anti-right. Thatís right, anti-right! I want people, all people, to give up this business of being right and to focus on compassion. And another thing...Ē At that point David had to interrupt and break for some commercials. 

When they got back on the air Jeshua asked if he could have a minute for his own commercial. An 800 number flashed across the screen and Jesus explained that this was his new pager number, a modern way for humanity to call him up and fire away a question, concern or prayer. He can answer over ten billion calls at the same time! Explaining further, he said, ďTraditional churches lead people to believe that to be close to me you have to pay money and have exclusive membership in their club. I want everyone to know itís easier than you think. In fact, itís what you think that makes it hard! 

Just try this: close your eyes, take some breaths, get quiet inside, and dial 1-800-ASK-JESUS. Iíll call you right back. Donít worry, Iíve already got your number, and my dial-up speed is faster than DSL. But youíve got to believe you are worthy of having a connection with me. Otherwise, there will be too much static on your end, and there will appear to be a receiver off the hook. If that happens, remind yourself to open your heart to receiving, and repeat the call. If you ever get a busy signal, you are the one thatís too busy. As Iíve said once or twice before, I am with you always. And I can afford to keep my promises. Iím not running for anything!Ē 

Jeshua then shared his plans to start up a web site for his multi-level marketing company called The Kingdom. With his upline the products are heavenly and, of course, there is unlimited prophet potential. If you are interested in becoming a distributor, hereís some great news. Heís already got you signed up! Just seek ye first The Kingdom, and stay attuned within. 

Scott Kalechstein offers expert coaching and counseling, both in person in Encinitas and on the phone. In addition, he is a minister, inspirational speaker, recording artist and modern day troubadour. He travels through the United States, Canada and Europe giving concerts, talks and workshops, as well as presenting at conferences. Scott will be appearing locally in concert at Seaside Church of Religious Science in Encinitas on December 9th. For more information, he can be reached at (760) 753-2359, or you may e-mail him at    His web site  is an inspiring and playful place to visit.

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