"BEING RIGHT" FOR RELATIONSHIP
WHERE DO WE START?
By Debbie Briggs, M.S.
The key to a happy relationship is to date long enough to find the right person and then once in the relationship, be the right person". When I first heard that statement it sounded like there were two different skills needed for finding and then keeping a partner. However, as my spiritual life has grown, I can now see that they both require at their foundation the practice of "being". In fact, if I were to re-order that statement, I'd say, "We have to practice being who we are before we can find the right person and keep a relationship".
What does it mean from a spiritual perspective to "be who we are"? If we come from the perspective that we are aspects of the Divine, that every cell in our body is composed of the energy of God, then we can come to understand that Spirit is present in every thought, feeling and sensation. We are expressing Spirit when we express ourselves.
I don't know about you, but when I first heard that idea, I thought "Right! Easy to say when everything coming out of my mouth is kind, loving, and compassionate, but what about when it's not"? What about when I'm stumbling about trying to figure things out, swept up in a wave of emotion which might include hurt, anger or fear? How can you say that is the perfect order of Spirit expressing?
One of the most healing spiritual concepts for me was learning that we are here on earth to learn lessons. So let's say I need the lesson of patience. You'd probably agree God isn't going to whip out a book and say, "Here, read Chapter 3 and take the test at the end". No, the Universe seems set up to allow us to attract the perfect person or situation to us in order to develop that patience. It's as if there is a beautiful, living, intelligent, intricate tapestry laid out over our planet, and each of us is a stitch, unique and valuable.
As we begin interacting we stimulate feelings in ourselves and others and the lessons begin to emerge. What an amazingly intelligent way for everyone to have the opportunity to grow; just put us together and let us start talking! You, just being you, then becoming an important opportunity for the other person. They need you to be yourself and you need them to be who they are! It's all in perfect order.
When I keep in mind that we are all here learning from one another by "being" ourselves at whatever level our development allows us to express, I am much more trusting and compassionate about the process. However, I am very open and receptive to having my lessons be as easy as possible. So I was thrilled to discover there is another very exciting spiritual dimension available to us in our "being". That is having access to an inner wisdom that can guide us in figuring out what is happening and what would be the most healing and enriching thing to do in any given situation. This can certainly raise the level of awareness in relating to others and bring a deep comfort in the process.
Inner wisdom has been called many things in many traditions including "intuition" or the "still small voice of God". Intuition registers in your awareness through physical sensations, a voice much like your own which many times just seems like another thought running through your mind, a knowing, or perhaps a visual image appearing on your mental screen. This spiritual wisdom is always available to us, just awaiting our opening to the idea that we can simply ask and receive. There is no question too big or small for God.
To begin practicing this, take a slow deep breath in and ask your question in the expectancy of an answer. Then quiet your body and mind and pay attention to what ideas, images, knowing, or voices/thoughts register in your mind. One of the ways we know we are being guided is that spiritual guidance is always loving, supportive of everyone's highest good, and will remain constant if you ask again. It is not emotional and erratic. As you experiment with the guidance you receive, you will see how much more effortlessly thing begin to flow, and you will begin to build up a level of confidence in your own Divine guidance.
With our intuition in place we are fully ready to "be ourself". We can lovingly and compassionately take our feelings and thoughts about another person up into that higher perspective to access guidance about how best to move forward in a situation. Then it is vital to do just that . . . express who you really are, exactly as you are. You will not find yourself involved for long with people that don't really like who you are. You will attract the perfect person for your level of development. I think this is the true meaning of dating long enough to find the right person. Being yourself will also keep the relationship alive. There is nothing that promotes growth in a relationship better than having two people willing to be themselves in a kind and compassionate way!!
Debbie Briggs, M.S.. is a Certified Spiritual Counselor and Reiki practitioner. She has been in private practice for 23 years and is currently in Huntington Beach. Her mission is to "help people help themselves" grow and heal through a deeper understanding of themselves and a clearer connection with the power of Spirit. For information about individual sessions, tapes, or her ongoing seminar, "Art Journaling and Intuition, Awakening to Spirit Within", please call (714) 841-3494 or send e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
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