Relationships and Naturopathy
By Alex Strande, MS., Ph.D.
Relationships are a key component to the general health of any individual. Most
people have built their ideals of a romantic relationship on an unrealistic
expectation somewhere between a fairytale and one of those family television
shows where everyone always does the right thing. Unfortunately, a health
relationship requires diligence and hard work.
This does not happen overnight and it’s not like
Cinderella fitting her foot into the perfect glass slipper to win her
prince. Accordingly, we may have unrealistic ideas about how parents or children
should relate to us as well. Many people think they are missing out on the
perfect family. This creates loneliness and isolation. It is hard to imagine
anyone actually having a perfect family since we all have difficult situations
we deal with, or unresolved conflict within our families.
We would all like the perfect relationship. Some of us have learned very young
that either we do not deserve a good relationship or it’s not possible to obtain
one for any perceived set of reasons usually established long ago in our
A good Naturopath always asks their patient in the initial consultation, not
only what is going on physically and emotionally, but what kind of relationships
they have around them. Are they happy in those relationships? Do they have a
good support system? Relationships are a cornerstone to health. Naturopathy
looks at the whole person. We also need to know how to ask for help and to
assist people around us when they ask us for guidance.
Most people with severe stress and anxiety perceive themselves as having poor
relationships. But how do you start having better relationships? There is no
easy answer. Realize what you can expect from people, and what their limitations
are, as well as your own.
Happiness is created from within. If you strive to gain happiness from others
you will always be sadly disappointed. No one can create that happy relationship
for you. You are the creator of your “happy relationship.” Not everyone will be
the perfect mother, father, child or lover. But if you change your perceived
expectation, you can build a better relationship. Most of us suffer in our
relationships because our perceived idea of that individual is unrealistic.
That is not to say there are not completely destructive or dangerous
relationships that are completely toxic to your well being. There is a point
where everyone needs to walk away and realize that there is no benefit being in
a particular relationship.
Many of my patients who suffer from anxiety and depression report their
relationships get better once their emotional health improves. My feeling is
that once a patient’s brain chemistry is working at an optimal level, and they
are feeling less or no anxiety, depression or mood swings, then their perception
of the world changes. Many people suffering from anxiety and depression view the
world in a very dark manner. As their brain chemistry changes, they view the
world in a more positive manner and suddenly relationships improve.
Most patients suffering from anxiety and depression improve almost immediately
on my protocol. Within five to seven days there is usually a noticeable
difference in their emotional state. Pharmaceutical-based medicine teaches that
if we have a “chemical imbalance,” we need to be medicated for life to feel
This is nonsense. Traditional Naturopathy is for people who are seeking
long-term solutions to their problems and want to eliminate them, rather than to
“treat” them. The body has an inherent ability to heal itself. If we are not in
balance, we can develop a “disease.”
Anxiety and depression are just one way it may manifest. This typically will
affect our relationships and how we perceive them. It is possible to have
healthy relationships, but you need to have healthy brain chemistry as well. And
through stress, environmental factors and toxins, we all may get out of balance.
However, to achieve a healthy balance is really not that difficult. Typically,
most of my patients with anxiety and depression treat on average between 2-3
months before their symptoms are at least 95% gone.
You do not have to live with these debilitating disorders and they are not
permanent chemical imbalances needing to be “treated.” They can be eliminated
permanently if the patient desires. Once this occurs, relationships fall into
Alex Strande, M.S., Ph.D., is a Traditional Naturopath and Microbiologist.
His office is in
Irvine, CA. He can be contacted for questions and appointments at
(949) 553-1882. Or check out website:
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