OptiMysticism:
Extraordinary Passages through Tragedy to Bliss
By Laurel Airica
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”1
“Mastery of the physical is not the goal of becoming conscious. Mastery of the
spirit is the goal.”2
Life is a series of tests, challenges and opportunities. Love is what holds us
together through it all. So, how do we find the will to live after the most
significant loves of our lives end abruptly in death? How do parents recover
from the irrecoverable loss of a child?
Recently, a woman came to me to help her write her story. She told me, “I’ve
been blessed with experiencing the deepest state of bliss through my youngest
daughter’s transition.”
Shocked as I was to have Patricia Richards say this to me, I was not wholly
unprepared for such a revolutionary statement. I have another new friend — Betsy
Taylor — who lost a son, a daughter, a leg — and thus her freedom. Yet, she is
truly the most joyful person I have ever known.
Both Patricia and Betsy have maintained a strong, clear communication with their
departed children. They are never separate from them and, in fact, their
relationships continue to grow. “It is wonderful to have that ethereal
connection.” Betsy explains. “It is something that is just planted inside of you
by Spirit.”
Patricia confirms the experience. “Your loved one is not gone because there is
no death,” she explains with the conviction of one who knows with her whole
heart and soul that consciousness continues even after the body can no longer
contain it. Thus, “... even though a person may transition, you are still able
to be in relationship with them if you find that place of stillness within
yourself...”
As soon as I heard Patricia’s story about the loss of her beloved daughter, I
brought her over to meet Betsy who lives just a few blocks from my home. What
stands out in my memory from that first meeting is Patricia saying something
about how unaware most people are of the bliss available to them even in the
death of a child. “Yes,” Betsy agreed, “if they haven’t been through that
inauguration, they simply cannot know.”
But how many people who have been through such a baptism by fire are aware of
this arcane truth? How many know that joy is still possible not only after the
passage of years dulls the grief in their hearts — but from the very first
moment they become aware of their loss, as was the case with Patricia.
On September 19, 2004 at 4 a.m., Patricia received a nearly inaudible phone call
from her older daughter, Erin: “Megan — mmmmorgue,” was all she could make out.
Then —
“I moved into this
profound state of stillness. It wasn’t shock. I could just hear a voice saying,
‘get to the house where Erin is.’ I was calm and grounded. I could feel and hear
my breath. I was very present to that connection as well as to everything around
me. I was also aware — from the twelve years of Buddhist practice and teachings
I had received — that life is impermanent and death is a time for celebration.
... So, I entered the deepest state of peace, bliss, stillness, joy, presence,
no thoughts. And everything was effortless. I would just hear what to do next.
After returning home, Patricia sought insight on the energies surrounding
Megan’s sudden departure. She drew an oracle card from a deck devoted to Kuan
Yin, the Chinese Goddess of Compassion, and read: “Like the beautiful undying
crane that breathes free, you can slip the bars of your cage and journey
through. North, south, east and west — nothing is obstructing you. The chun —
the wise one — can rise to the highest north heaven.”
Patricia took this as a message for herself as well as Megan, for both had
broken through the bars that had previously confined them to this dimension. She
told me:
“By this time the sun had risen and I was sitting on
the couch in a state of bliss. I heard her calling so I started looking around.
She said, ‘Mom, Mom, tell everyone — if you walk slowly and quietly you will
hear my laughter and you will know the place my soul has taken me. Nothing has
changed except I have shed my physical body. I am joyful, I am free as a bird.”
In the week before her instant death in an auto accident — and many times before
that — Megan had said to Erin, “If something happens to me, play Free Bird at my
funeral.”
A bird came as a divine messenger to Betsy Taylor just before the death of her
son, Bob, and later her daughter, Hope. Bob had been a strong, athletic child
until about the age of 10 when he began to suffer from epileptic seizures. As he
grew into adulthood, the seizures grew progressively worse. Then, one night —
when he was staying over at his mother’s home:
“.... I was coming back late from USM3
where I had been serving as a volunteer. Something came over me — a sensation I
had never felt before. I thought I had better pull over to the side. But then I
thought, ‘No, just be aware of what’s happening.’ It felt like a strong man was
pulling open my ribs and out from my heart flew a dove. I was mesmerized. And I
came home and found my son had died. ... His face was so beautiful. When there
is death, there is love. And I saw this love on his face. He had a young boy’s
face on and it was such a comfort to me. I could see that Spirit was taking care
of everything.”
After Betsy finished telling me this story, she added — “Once my son had died,
that was the end of the sadness for me.” My mouth fell open. “How could that be,
Betsy?” I asked her.
She explained that she had felt brokenhearted for the first month. Then, during
a lengthy, spontaneous vision that literally carried her away during meditation,
she entered another dimension in which she encountered her son and the beings
with whom he was living. In the beauty of that realm all her grief was
dissolved. “There just was no sadness in the world and there was no sadness for
me. It was one of the most outstanding experiences I have ever had. It was so
comforting.”
This visit to another world also prepared Betsy for the loss of her daughter,
Hope, some time later. And as with her son’s transition, a dove came to inform
and console her just prior to her daughter’s passing. Only this time, it was an
actual wild dove that landed on Betsy’s knee and held her eyes in a fixed gaze
for a long time. She told me —
“I am fascinated by the way there is another
communication — that somehow God really loves us. If I hadn’t had that
experience, finding my son had died, and losing my daughter, would have been
devastating. But I was so stunned that I realized there was a message for me.
And fortunately, I was clear enough to be able to interpret and love it. It
takes my breath away.”
Among the many other challenges Betsy has faced are a severely retarded child,
extreme marital discord, being struck by a car while crossing a street (hence
the eventual loss of her leg), diabetes and various other medical maladies. With
completely undaunted spirit she tells me —
“I am at the age where I feel the nourishment of
life. The fun of life. ... Life has always felt like a special reward to me. A
great bundle of gifts with a surprise around every corner. Every experience is
like another jewel you add to your big collection of jewels. ... All our seeming
tragedies are teachers. And everybody involved in them, if they look to the
higher quality of life, will see the glory in them. It’s nice because life is
full of glory. It’s just a revolutionary process we’re going through. And
there’s nothing tragic about it. There are circumstances beyond our control. But
with that we have to give up control and see the glory, teaching, wonder and
fascination of what goes on.”
I am so extremely blessed to have Betsy and Patricia as continual reminders that
my quality of life is dependent on my attitude not circumstances. I share them
with you now because both ladies are available to support others who are seeking
to find their way back Home from grief to gratitude, from tragedy to the bliss
that exists eternally at the center of all our hearts.
Patricia is an intuitive transformational coach, dream guide, reiki master and a
meditation teacher who studied for years directly with the
Dalai Lama. She lives in
Huntington Beach and consults in person and by
phone. She can be reached at
(714) 613-4992. Just speaking with Patricia, I
instantly regain my center.
Betsy, at the age of 80, is a USM grad, currently earning her doctoral degree in
spiritual science. She welcomes callers and offers her loving wisdom on a
donation basis by phone and in person — on the rooftop garden of the
Berkeley East Convalescent Hospital where she lives
in
Santa Monica. You can reach Betsy for an uplifting
conversation at
(310) 745-5584.
I can’t encourage you enough to contact these two marvelous women. For as Betsy
commented after reading a draft of this article, “People like Patricia and I
lead a charmed life. Our lives are untouchable!” And that is possible for us
all.
Laurel Airica is a
communications consultant, writing coach, and freelance writer/editor living in
Santa Monica, CA. She can be reached at
(310) 899-1059, or email
WordMagic@Earthlink.net
Also visit:
www.laurelairica.com
© 2008
1 Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2.
2 Carolyn Myss, Anatomy of the Spirit, Three Rivers Press/NY, 1996.
3 The University of
Santa Monica, a non-profit private university that
attracts students from around the world to its graduate programs in spiritual
psychology.
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