Dear KRS,
I have been at my present job for 11 months and I enjoy my work. The company
shines in developing employees and advancing them within the company. This is
important to me and since I am good at what I do, I am enthusiastic about the
prospects.
Unfortunately, my superior is making me increasingly uncomfortable with his
attentions. In the beginning I thought he was just taking me under his wing, but
as time goes on, I realize he is spending too much time “trying to help.”
The past month he has started complimenting me on my attire and my body.
This may sound
insignificant, but he has also started making physical contact, like patting me
on the back and leaving his hand there for a minute. I don’t want to “rock the
apple cart” so I have tried to be polite about it. How do I handle this? Confused About Boss’s
Attentions
Dear Confused,
What you are experiencing is called sexual harassment and it is more common than
you probably are aware. You first must honor your feelings and the reality of
what is happening. Don’t worry about the apple cart or your job right now.
Approach your superior in the morning before he comes to your desk. This move is
important because it puts you in an aggressive position versus passive. Ask him
for an appointment to meet with him as soon as is convenient.
In the meeting, tell him how uncomfortable you are with his attention and to
please cease. Be firm, not hysterical. I wouldn’t throw around “sexual
harassment” yet. Give him a chance. Perhaps he was misreading your passivity or
politeness as a green flag.
Meanwhile, make notes of time, date and content of this meeting and any others.
The very next time he makes you uncomfortable, give him one last chance, this
time mentioning that you consider his actions sexual harassment and that if he
doesn’t stop, you will contact his superior. If his behavior continues, follow
through immediately with your promise. Meet with his superior and stick to your
guns. Do the right thing and things will work out as they are meant.
KRS
Dear KRS,
I am a 5’10”, 22-year-old female who now weighs 145 pounds. At fourteen I
weighed 230 pounds. I have fought anorexia and bulimia and now I am on the right
track to a healthy lifestyle. My problem is that my body wants to weigh 145
pounds while I would like to be closer to 135 lbs. Though healthy and somewhat
slim now, I have a tremendous amount of loose flesh as a result of my former
obesity. I have weight trained and aerobicized and yet it remains. What do I do? Lost Weight
Dear Lost Weight,
Congratulations on losing weight in a healthful manner and conquering food
obsessions along the way. Treasure what you’ve accomplished and maintain it for
awhile before pushing yourself towards new goals. Your weight is in the ideal
range for a medium-framed woman, according to the Metropolitan Life Insurance
Company.
Continue with your healthful lifestyle and, at your young age, you will see more
skin toning and weight loss with time. The older one gets the less likely it is
for the skin to return to its “skinny self” as it loses elasticity over time.
Keep up the good work.
KRS
Dear KRS,
I am taking a vacation next month and getting so stressed thinking about all I
have to do that I feel like canceling. Help! Pre-Vacation Stressed
Dear Vacation Stressed,
Here are two effective tips to reduce stress and enhance your vacation
experience:
1) Work Ahead – Make a list of everything that needs to be done before you go.
This will make you feel more organized and alleviate your stress. Bite the
bullet and be willing to put in some extra hours. It is the best gift you can
give yourself.
2) Pack Ahead – Put on vacation music and start filling your suitcase a week or
more before your trip. It will eliminate the stress of last-minute packing while
extending your vacation through the joy of anticipation.
KRS
KRS Edstrom, M.S.,
is an author, lecturer and columnist. She offers private sessions (by phone or
in person) and seminars on meditation, stress, pain, weight loss. Her books and
audios offer solutions for healthful, conscious living. For free soothing guided
meditations and more information, visit www.AskKRS.com.
Call (323) 851-8623 or email: KRS@AskKRS.com