Living A Sacred Intentional Relationship
By Therése Tappouni and Lance Ware



Lance and I are meditating in church on the World Day of Prayer, shortly after we met. Behind closed eyes, I sense movement coming from the altar. I see the imprint of a Christ figure behind my lids. He is luminous, solid, and moving directly toward me. My body is heating up from the light surrounding him. He is standing directly in front of me. If I could move, I would touch him. I feel the warmth of a hand on my head. I know that energy! It is my son Michael who died more than twenty years earlier. My grief and joy are overwhelming. I am shaken to my depths, searching for words. There is a lifting of the pressure on my head and I know I have received an enormous blessing. I am filled with love — and Michael is gone. I stay quiet, wondering.

Lance touches my shoulder and I open my eyes. He motions me toward the door. My knees are weak. I hope I have not cried out loud. I look back at the altar; it is as it was when we arrived.

In front of the church, Lance tells me he has just had a strange experience. He has felt a hand of blessing on his head. He looks me full in the face and says; “It was your son.” So early in our meeting we have been gifted with the approval and blessing of my child in another realm. I cannot describe the ecstasy.

These paragraphs are taken from my latest manuscript, “The Promise.” This experience has launched our journey into a world of love where more was expected from us than the usual model of partnership. We were on a sacred path that had been chosen for us. People began stopping us or sitting at our table in a restaurant, asking advice about their relationships. Somehow, the words came that were needed for them.

Lance’s background is in writing, teaching and counseling, and mine in raising a family, working in the community, writing and teaching workshops. Each of us had been called to address the need for male and female balance and empathy on the planet in our own way. It is a crying need, perhaps the most important for all of us at this time and place. Now we were being led to do this work together.

This is a sacred charge. We are aware that everything begins with the personal relationship we have with our selves, mates and families. Balancing the male and female sides of one’s self is the first step. Encouraging women to lead, men to grieve and children to explore art and nature, contributes to the spiritual growth of the individual. Coming together as a whole person with another whole person creates a completely new presence — one that can change everything in the realm of those two people.

From these beginnings, we created a daily life that would support our intentions. We start our day with prayer and meditation; consult our sacred guidance whenever we make business or personal decisions; bless and sage our home and the places where we stay; read daily, even if only for five minutes, on the subjects that create harmony; allow passion equal time with purpose; study with the great teachers of our day. We have spoken to many groups, written about Living the Intentional Life, and developed what we see as Ten Qualities of an Intentional Life. These qualities are a basis for love with self, mates, family, community and the world. The first three are:

Tell the Truth/be true to yourself.
Develop a practice of meditation/prayer.
Put your vision in writing.

Number one, telling the truth, is a heart opening step. When we reach deep and tell the real truth, our mates and families learn who we truly are. The fear of losing someone by telling our truth says something about where we are in that relationship. Telling your truth in times of love and openness is the key with this process.

Lance and I are not always successful, but there is a place inside of us that knows when we are not living in the sacred intentional part of our lives. One or both will recognize the false part of our exchange, know it is not coming from our intention to live a loving expanding life, and talk about where it came from. That eventually leads to the real truth of our feelings. At our best, we do not attempt to bury our emotions — we bring them to the surface in a loving intentional way.

Therése and I know that one or more of these intentional steps can be prominent in relationship at any time. It is important to acknowledge and address those aspects. At this time, meditation, prayer, and writing are essential in my relationships with Therése and my somatherapy clients.

By listening in the deep sacred silence of meditation, we hear the voice of divine inspiration offering words of wisdom. One morning, shortly after we returned from a weekend at Jean Houston’s Mystery School, I wrote the following piece on the nature of our relationship to life, love and career. I trust this voice and am grateful for the way it connects my personal life with a larger role in the global web of life. It is from my current manuscript of poems, dialogues and meditations entitled Indra’s “Net: Jewels of Truth & Purpose.”  

How Joy is in Work
When spirit calls us to larger tasks of life, a window opens that even the wounding of our hearts cannot close or ignore. Go to the window of your soul now and see beyond it the true calling of all of your years here revealed.

Ask to be shown and it will be shared to you what the work is and how to do it. Ask only to know this much at one time. We do not need to know the whole road of life, just where our soul steps today, and today becomes each today that goes into making the golden road of devotion that opens the heart to joy.

To know and to go is enough. Go strong amid the trembling thoughts of doubt. Out of your courage comes courage for the many who have not heard yet the voice of their own brave start.

And start is all that is asked of you. The eternal rest will come clearly through the doing; the best will come unbidden through the core that opens you to more.

Listen. Return until the worry of tomorrow is the peace of these moments we are one, in the communion of hope that is the joining of intention with achievement. You alone can know the joy of your own soul showing.

Fly up into the day; the wind of guidance blows for every soul. Speak gently to know those you deal with. Heal each one; listen to the heart within for comfort. Speak a gentle truth so clear even the closed heart of fear will open to the sound of truth it trusts, and feels your comfort as its own.

There is one comfort under all: the comfort of remembering our calling here we have not heard, perhaps, through such a long fall into an uncertain well of fear that dwells below the heart of love.

Your gentle voice the hands of hope, of kindness for those who have fallen. Go to your rest tonight knowing your voice raises someone else’s own. And your two or more are not ignored or alone. More will join you on the journey home.

Writing your thoughts and insights can lead to clarity of purpose allowing your unique vision of truth to serve as a reminder later when life offers change or confusion. Writing, and reading aloud, also helps your relationships grow in gratitude as your connection and appreciation for your beloved become part of the fabric of your communication through the act of honest sharing.   

Therése received this dialogue upon awakening in the early morning hours.

What Matters

Love matters.
What else can be said?
Well, it is in how we love.
And that is?
Without judgment;
in total acceptance.
Am I a saint, then?
It is in the attempt, Beloved.
Look into the true eyes
of your friend. No, not the
latched gate that faces town,
but the inner rooms
where fear lies down;
the bed of loneliness only
he knows, the scraps
on the table of desire.
See with the eyes of love,
Beloved, and the gifts
are as the seeds of the Papaya;
many, polished, teak beauties
strung on the necklace
of eternal joy.


Having been given all these pieces, it is our purpose to share our work and live up to the possible selves we have been shown.

Therése and Lance are the co-founders of ISIS, Institute for Sacred Integrative Somatherapies, teaching emotional renewal through various modalities of mind, body and spirit. They are authors, therapists and work1shop directors who train other professionals, lead support groups and counsel women, men and couples both individually and together. Call (760) 828-7244 or e-mail at  Check out their books, CDs and services at

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