THE HEART OF LOVE
Got Love Skills? 
You Do Now!
By Dr. Scott & Shannon Peck

 

 

Did you ever think you could use love skills to empower yourself in the love department?  Well, you can!

Without skills, we couldn't operate a computer or use our cell phones! We use skills everyday to succeed in jobs.

So, are skills just as important in the arena of love? They sure are! And that's good news - because skills can be learned.

For example, many people are terrible at loving themselves. Self disgust is almost a chronic love condition. Imagine how this holds back a life rich in love. There are skills, however, that you can use to love yourself and leave this muck.

One such love skill is to see yourself as an unfolding masterpiece. Many of Michelangelo's masterpieces were unfinished. This is how it is for us. You are a masterpiece in the works! Dare to see yourself in this way.

Like all new skills, this might seem impossible, even ridiculous. Whenever you go outside your box, you may feel uncomfortable, undeserving, and even judge yourself for having the gall to do something for yourself in the area of experiencing more love. This needs to be challenged so you can move forward and expand greatly with more love.

Seeing yourself as valuable and worthy is a choice. As you exercise this choice, you are training yourself to be an expert with a new love skill. How's that for empowerment!

It helps to think of love in terms of skills because this means they can be learned! No one needs to live in love fog or think love is a mystery beyond comprehension.

Here's another love skill for loving yourself - forgive yourself and move higher. There's no value in ruminating forever in the mud. Imagine the weight dropped off from allowing yourself to make mistakes and learn from them, without guilt! This is a love skill that can be practiced - and it works.

Get the idea? Love skills are available to you and uncomplicated. But they require an open attitude. How many older people do you know who say, "I don't want to learn how to use a cell phone!" Well, without that skill, they will be missing a great deal of communication. Unfortunately, there are many people who think, "I don't want to learn any love skills." And guess what? Their love lives will operate at a far lower level of love possibility.

Got love skills? 

"Not as much as I'd like, but I'm willing to learn." Good, that's the attitude that will bring you the love you deserve.

So here's another love skill. Another way to love yourself (and this one is especially for people who are really good at giving a lot of love to others) is to allow yourself to receive love generously from others.

What would that feel like for you? Can you imagine allowing yourself to let in that much love without feeling like you are then obligated and must begin a rush to return the love immediately? Receiving love generously is a skill.

See how many ways there are for loving yourself?  Each one of these love skills is easy! No doubt, you've even practiced some of these yourself, without calling them love skills.

Just as a plumber or carpenter has a tool chest, where they are skilled in each tool in order to accomplish their work, you too can have a tool chest of love skills. Why not! And as you use each skill you will become more familiar with it and be more adapt at using it with great love and refinement. Practice creates love!

Love skills come in many areas of love - loving yourself, creating intimacy, expanding love, healing hurt feelings, and turning conflict into peace. To become an expert in all these areas - to live as a Love Master - requires that each of us acquire talent with many new love skills.

For example, got love skills in creating intimacy?

Intimacy is a scary place for many people. They want it, but they are very afraid to set foot in this realm.

Well, one love skill that breaks through the fog of superficial communication and begins a world of positive intimacy is to "Ask a love question."

For example, even on a first date, you can say, "So what are you most passionate about? " Or you can ask, "What's the most significant thing going on in your life right now? " This love question is one you can even ask a stranger. Or you can ask someone you love,  "What's going on in your heart right now? "

Such love questions break down walls that keep us from intimacy. It isn't about getting the information. It's about connecting! These love skills will take you there! As you listen to the answers, you will connect and learn about the other person's heart. Then you can also share by taking a turn. This is the intimacy our hearts crave.

Remember, asking a love question is a skill. No one is talented the first time they try this love skill, but practice will bring you closer to real love. We dare you to ask 10 people one of these love questions. By the time you get to the tenth time, you'll discover that they work - if you get to the tenth time!

Got love skills?  Yes, you do! You have a good taste just by reading this article, and each taste followed by practice, leads to love talent. And love talent leads to love fulfillment. Welcome to the heart of love.

Dr. Scott and Shannon Peck are Co-founders of TheLoveCenter, a non-profit organization "Raising universal love awareness and awakening a world of Love Masters." They are authors of books on love and healing, including "The Love You Deserve," "Love Skills," ad "Love Heals" (by Shannon), and they offer a free "Love Skills Course"

 


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