By Dr. Scott Peck and Shannon Peck
Starting Over in Love



It’s not easy to start over in love, but it’s a fantastic opportunity to discover and experience the love you truly deserve.

Here’s where we most get stuck. We often identify with our past relationships which often leave a trail of pain and hopelessness. Starting over seems almost impossible from the vast history of feeling like a failure in love. However, starting over in love is the most powerful thing you can do to create the love you truly deserve.

Starting over means you’re ready to end the habit of reviewing all the things you did wrong, were criticized for, and that you feel guilty about. Now is the time to let go of all the negative inner talk. When the negativity returns, you can do two valuable things. First, release the negative energy. Second, decide to move to the positive energy of great possibilities ahead!

This new habit of release and looking forward with a positive attitude will take you to a dramatic new place of hope and confidence. And that’s before you even step outside the door to meet someone new!

Sometimes, we also need to forgive the past and all its grievances. Just decide that you may not be able to fix it and, to release it permanently, it will need to be forgiven. The mere decision of forgiveness brings in a healing energy that allows you to move higher.

You may want to light a candle in honor of your decision. And when you see it flicker, it is a reminder that what you are doing is serving your love life to start over anew. Or you may need to make a list of the people you are forgiving (please include yourself) and the grievances that most need to be forgiven with each. Then take your list and, ceremonially, either burn it up to symbolize that it is extinguished from your life or bury it to symbolize that it is now closed and you are ready to move on to higher places.

Now it’s time to set a new intention for your love life. What, exactly, is it that you most want? What would a great love life look like? It’s helpful to be specific so that you can measure your outcomes and later check off your list the things that you thought you would achieve, a life of great love for yourself.

Some of those intentions for your love life, for example, might be to receive love as much as you give love to others, to be able to set boundaries for yourself, to speak up and honor your feelings, to praise more, or to be able to walk away and end a relationship if it is no longer working for your highest good. Can you think of more?

To live in a place of powerful hope and confidence for your love life, let your heart entertain what may be possible and what you deserve in love. Move past your inner limits! Think openly and freely about the endless possibilities of a synchronistic meeting of a wonderful new love mate, experiencing the greatest intimacy ever, and how this could happen at any moment! Send out an energetic signal to the universe that you are ready! Keep transmitting your message while knowing that you are a love magnet. As you do this, keep the emotional space open in your heart for attracting just the right person. Realize that the universe conspires to bring you your soul mate lover!

To really turn up the wattage, decide to see yourself in the position of an even bolder magnet for love! Step into a leadership position of creating all the love you could ever want in your life, not just with a love mate, but with new friends and even strangers. How?

Go around asking love questions such as, “What’s the most significant thing going on in your life right now?” Then wait for them to get in touch with their heart. Wait as they slowly share from their heart as they watch to see if you are judging, laughing, or in any way rejecting them. Then, with all the love in the world, after they complete their heartfelt answer, look into their eyes and reflect back what you heard. Tell them how special it is to share this way and how much you appreciate it. Tell them you’ll think about them today in a special way, carrying in your heart what they said.

This is how you start over and create the love you deserve! Welcome to the heart of love.

Dr. Scott Peck & Shannon Peck are Co-founders of TheLoveCenter, a non-profit organization dedicated to “Raising universal love awareness and awakening a world of love masters”. They are authors of books on love and healing, including “Love Skills for Personal & Global Transformation: Secrets of a Love Master”. For lots more love and a free Love Quiz, visit We are holding the space for you to receive all the love you deserve!
© Copyright 2007 Scott & Shannon Peck

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