By Scott & Shannon Peck 
Love Questions that Create Intimacy



 “What’s going on in your heart right now?”
 This simple love question has the potential to create immediate intimacy. Looking directly into another’s eyes, ask this question and silently give time for your friend, date, spouse, child, or co-worker to respond. Some may wonder inside if you truly want to know. Let your smile, eyes, and heart tell them “Yes!” 

Asking love questions is the mark of a LoveMaster — someone who is an expert at creating intimacy. When was the last time someone asked you “What’s going on in your heart?” When was the last time you asked someone this question? Imagine how much love we are missing by not asking this question! 

In our marriage, we ask this question to each other often. It enables us to tune into each other’s inner heart. Even in a close relationship, it’s amazing how swiftly our inner lives change direction and focus. How can you remain intimate without knowing the thoughts of the inner heart? Asking this question says to another: “I treasure you so much that I truly want to know what’s happening in your innermost being.” Who can resist such love? 

Another outstanding love question is “What is the most significant thing going on in your life right now?” This love’s question, if asked genuinely from your heart, can create instant intimacy — with anyone. One day, while traveling, Scott stopped for lunch. When the wait-ress came for his order, she looked sad and Scott’s heart immediately went out to her. He looked her directly in the eyes and said: “What’s the most significant thing going on in your life right now?” She looked at him with surprise and said, “Do you really want to know?” “I sure do,” he said, feeling totally at ease with being Love’s expression. She reached for her order book, folded back the tickets and showed him a picture: “This is my daughter. She’s sixteen months old and is the love of my life. I’m doing the best I can to raise her.” In less than 15 seconds, she had shared her inner heart. Imagine the loss — to Scott and this waitress — of not asking Love’s question! 

Here’s another great question. When you meet someone new, rather than asking what they do, or where they live, ask: “What is your passion?” You will be amazed at how openly and immediately people will answer this if you ask with a sincere, open heart. Almost instantaneously, you will know this person in a significant way. They will feel loved and your hearts will bond. 

Now here’s a truly advanced love question: “On a scale of 1 to 10, how loved do you feel right now?” This is one of a LoveMaster’s advanced love questions that unites hearts and reveals what is needed for love to advance even higher. It can also be playful way for lovers to connect. If a person answers, “Well, about a 7.5,” ask them, “What would make it a 10?” Both of you will be surprised at how revealing — and love enriching — it is to discover the answer. How loved do you really want your friend, spouse, child, or co-worker to feel? If you truly want them to experience maximum love, this question will clarify what is needed for that to happen. It is a win-win question. Think of it as an information question, not a judgment question. True love is always transparent. 

When you ask love questions to everyone, you will experience the joy that constantly flows through the life of a LoveMaster. And your life will leave a wake of love not soon be forgotten. Welcome to the heart of Love! 

Scott & Shannon Peck are co-founders of TheLoveCenter, a non-profit organization dedicated to bringing all mankind into the heart of Love. They speak and conduct workshops on love, liberating magnificence, and spiritual healing. They are co-authors of “Liberating Your Magnificence: 25 Keys to Loving and Healing Yourself”. Scott Peck is also the author of “The Love You Deserve: 10 Keys to Perfect Love”. This article is based on their new 6-cassette series, “All the Love You Could Ever Want!” and their weekend workshop “Becoming a LoveMaster”. For information, visit  or call TheLoveCenter at (800) 266-1525.

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