Acknowledge, Accept, and Appreciate the Sameness
By Lynn Seiser
Every year Awareness Magazine dedicates an issue to Women. Being male, I often wonder why there is no issue for men. Okay, I know that the stereotypic man is not into issues of ecology, consciousness, and awareness. Statistically, it may not be “normal” for the average male to care. If we look at the media, it is always hard to find males with any redeeming graces. The problem often is not that these images are out there, the real problem is that male critics, at least on some level, are accurate. While there are many differences between men and women, there are also similarities. Maybe we need to learn to acknowledge, accept, and appreciate the sameness.
What do we want? What do we feel we are worthy of? What are we willing to work for and what are we willing to let go of? Men and women want to be loved, accepted, and appreciated for who they are, and to be happy. We fight our learned ego-identity to believe we are all worth love and happiness. We must let go of our self-judgment. We know it is only love that is worth living and dying for.
What opportunities do we most want? What observation, of us or others, do we want to make? What stops us from being more optimistic? Men and women want the opportunity to have love and happiness. We want to be observed as desirable and lovable. The only thing that stops us is our own learned ego-identity that judges us harshly as unworthy. Our optimism is limited by our ability to see through the illusions of self-judgment.
What is the meaning of life? What make us mad? What makes us madly in love? What matters and what doesn’t? Men and women both look for the meaning of their lives. Some find it, some put meaning into it and some just search in disappointment. We get mad as a defensive reaction to being hurt. Our hurt is because we take everything too seriously and too personally. We are mad with the adrenaline pump, rush, and dump of adolescence romanticism and idealism, all the while looking for a more mature quieter love that lasts. When we are honest with ourselves, very little matters other than true love. True love always begins with the truth. The true meaning of life, and the only thing that matters, is to learn to let love in and to let love out.
What do we want to do about ecology and the environment? What energizes us? What ethics are most important? Men and women want to make sure the world they live in continues to exist, but few know what to do. We get energy from connecting and working together toward our higher good. We know what the right things to do are, we just need encouragement and courage to do them.
What is natural? What is nurturing? What do we want or need now and what can we wait for? What do we need to know to say “no” when we need to and “yes” when we want to? Men and women both know it is natural to be nurturing to each other. We know there is no better time than now to start. We have waited too long already.
Men and women may be different, but it would appear we are very much the same when we get honest with others and ourselves. Maybe if we acknowledged, accepted, and appreciated our same-ness, we could all get together sooner. Maybe we could make love last and life better. Maybe we could model it for our children and future generations.
Thanks for listening, for the opportunity to be of service, and for sharing the journey.
Lynn Seiser, Ph.D., is an internationally-respected psychotherapist and author with offices in Long Beach and Tustin.
Return to the January/February Index page