Give Yourself a Second Chance
By Lisa Cherney
What the heck is “self-discovery?” It is one of those terms that is a bit over
used lately. However, don’t let that turn you off. I am here to tell you that
discovery of the self is quite a lot of fun. (And a lot of work.) I embarked on
my discovery journey about 15 years ago and have found that I really like myself
these days. Not just my hair and nails (which are quite fabulous), but I like
the business owner I am, the woman I am, the mom I am, the wife I am. Do you
like yourself? Perhaps some self-discovery would bring a more satisfying career,
more fulfilling relationships and help you touch more lives in a positive way.
I Never Do That
Do you give yourself second chances? Knowing what you know about your past, do you allow yourself to start fresh? For example, if you tried to start your own business a few years ago and it wasn’t successful, would you take the risk to try again? Or, have you written, “I’m not cut out for owning my own business” into your life story? Self-discovery is about allowing a new story to be written. It is about getting rid of, “I am not good at that,” or, “I am not that type of person.” Another one that I love is, “I will never do that.” There have been a few occasions, like when I borrowed money to invest in my business, that I realized I said I would never do it again, but I did. This shows me something must have changed a lot, and that “something” is often me.
Why do we do stuff we said we would never do? We do it because we are open to seeing ourselves with fresh eyes. (By the way, the investment in myself paid off and I doubled my income the next year.)
Often when we start a new relationship, we get to be a new person. Maybe we are
a bit more honest with our feelings or our expectation. This fresh start usually
comes when one relationship ends and a new one begins, but how do we give
ourselves a fresh start in business? Well, one option is to close down our
business entirely and start over. Or here’s a thought, how about if we give
ourselves a second chance by simply choosing to do things differently? We say,
“I am done being this way.”
For example, “I am done:”
• Working all the time
• Being hard on myself
• Feeling like I should be doing something else no matter what I am doing
• Not spending time with my kids
• Not taking time off
• Providing this service just because it is what I have always done
• Not speaking my truth to clients
• Not doing what I love, or at least what I like
• Feeling anxious about things I am supposed to enjoy
• Not getting paid what I am worth
• Not saying “no”
• Believing people who say I can’t do something
These are just a few of the things that I have encountered in my 10 years of
coaching business owners and executives. Now, sometimes people have to adjust to
your not being available as often. Or they have to adjust to paying their
invoices on time when you enforce new policies. But, it sure beats closing down
(by choice or otherwise) and starting over.
Give yourself permission to start over this year. Confess the areas that don’t feel good. Decide to create a business (or life) you love. If the change feels overwhelming, or you don’t believe it is possible, get support! You can join an online group, go to a workshop, hire a coach, get a therapist, or confide in a friend. And, if you decide you don’t need support, pay attention to how much time goes by before you see a change. Give yourself a deadline so you are clear on how it is going when doing it by yourself. Also, notice the reasoning behind the choice to do it alone. I know I have let money stand in my way in the past when I could be making exponential strides with the help of an advisor.
Do you want to build your business to new heights? Do you want to build your body to new heights? Pick some things that have been on your mind (and in your heart) and do them. No matter how small. It is this constant change, and second chances, that keep me engaged in life. (It is this constant change that keeps me from getting a job or a divorce.)
What are you willing to do to discover a self that is beyond what you can imagine? What are you willing to do to become the person who does do that or who is that type of person? It is time you give yourself a second chance. You deserve it!
Lisa Cherney is a Business Coach, Marketing Consultant and President & Founder of Conscious Marketing™. If you are serious about making changes this year, visit www.ConsciousMarketing.com or call.
©2006 Lisa Cherney
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