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In their new book Wild At-
traction: A Ruthlessly Practical
Guide to Extraordinary Relation-
ship, Paul and Patricia Richards
turn conventional wisdom on
its head and explore a previous-
ly unacknowledged force that
can make or break our relation-
ships. They offer a stunning new
relationship model that provides
the "missing link" to finding and
experiencing an extraordinary
and transformative partnership
-- Energy.
According to the Richards,
"Western culture's entire arsenal
of relationship skills deals only
with physical and psychologi-
cal factors associated with sex
and romance, failing to equip us
with the knowledge we need the
most which is this: Relationship
is largely created or destroyed in
the realm of Energy."
The following is excerpted
Wild Attraction: A Ruthlessly
Practical Guide to Extraordinary
Relationship (Chelsion Press/
November 2009).
Wild Attraction is a survey of
a previously uncharted, energet-
ics-centered view of romantic
love. Its core tenet is this: Even
though humans have had elev-
en million years of male-female
experimentation during which to
refine the race's skills, our most
desperately cherished premises
relating to sexuality and attrac-
tion are exactly the inverse of
what works.
From an energetically aware
perspective, the relationship be-
haviors that society most encour-
ages are those that least fulfill
the incredible promise of gen-
der. The world is, literally, head
over heels. Great things await us
if we can turn things right side
up again.
ENERgETIc FAcT OF lIFE #1
The energetic force of gen-
der and attraction is all around
us, and against it we humans
have no defense. This is true
despite our culture's portrayal
of sexuality as a force inter-
nal to us and under our con-
trol. Your best response to this
knowledge: Do not take even
the most committed love for
granted and work diligently ev-
ery day to safeguard your fidel-
ity and that of your mate. Also,
learn all you can about Wild
Attraction.
Somewhere out there, in the
darkness just beyond the orange
and red glow of a metaphorical
campfire, lurks a real power of
gender-based attraction that no-
body can resist. Nobody. This
force is an interweaving of twin
streams of non-ordinary Energy
that we experience as feminine
and masculine. In not being con-
sciously aware of this fact of life,
you might also not realize that
neither your fidelity, nor your
wife's or husband's, is really in
your power to guarantee, or in
theirs.
You won't yet know that any
man or woman can be com-
pelled to sleep with, marry, live
with, or perhaps lie to any per-
son, against all individual inter-
ests. If you believe that superior
character, morality, or religios-
ity allows any person to master
these twin streams, you are able
to think this way only because
the most exotic of all animals,
which for the purposes of this
book I am calling Wild Attrac-
tion, has allowed you to think
so.
Sexuality and gender, while
fulfilling various functions for
the race, including reproduc-
tion, must be seen as constitut-
ing something entirely different
from an internal biological pro-
cess. Romantic attraction is an
external entity that is offering to
enhance individual prospects
for the most profound growth of
consciousness and attention that
is given to you to ever possibly
achieve.
Sexuality and gender are all
about awakening and then re-
maining awake. If you don't ac-
knowledge this force, and help
it meet its nonnegotiable needs,
you can be capsized in the silv-
ery wake thrown off by its pow-
erful, purposeful motion. In the
worst case, you slowly drown in
a gray sea of loneliness or dys-
functional relationships.
Although I am being straight-
forward about its dangers, this
external agency of love is a posi-
tive thing. Those who come to
respect the force of Wild Attrac-
tion inevitably find themselves
taking the mechanics of gender
much less for granted. They date
more before choosing to have
sex or settle down, and tend to
screen potential lovers with a
different eye.
People who gain a Wild At-
traction perspective work hard-
er to be viable candidates for
long-term love. These men and
women learn about and practice
the art of keeping a mate, and
they stop believing any promise,
contract, or habit will bind two
people together for better or for
worse.
If you are not yet generating
a field of attraction that draws
others to you, and are languish-
ing in what I think of as "chron-
ic involuntary singleness," the
problem may not be that you
are unattractive to others but
rather that you have not yet
learned how to attract and work
with this powerful non-human
romantically.
When successfully relating
to mates and potential mates,
it is arguably wise to focus first
on relating to this unacknowl-
edged but huge external force
-- a process that requires flu-
WILD ATTRACTION
The Hidden Force that Makes
or Breaks Relationship
By Paul and Patricia Richards