I LOOVEEE YOUUU . . .
"I looveee youuu" . . . were the parting words that my older sister said to me over the phone. She stretched the words out and used a low and airy tone, to emphasize her point. "Hum," I thought. Now what the heck I'm I suppose to do with that? Here we are, a couple of middle-aged adults, who never used the "L" word when growing up, now all of sudden it's "I looveee youuu" time?
I was uncomfortable hearing this from my sister. It must be guilt I thought to myself! All those Sunday nights, growing up, when she hogged the radio, not letting me listen to The Lone Ranger, or The Whistler. That was it, guilt! But the reality is, what bothered me was, that in her attempt to sound sincere, it sounded very insincere. I know she was trying, but maybe that was the problem. The words were there, but the emotion was forced, unnatural, lacking genuineness. Sure, all humans love each other at some level, but it would be nice if it didn't have to be so . . . well, you know, so serious. It would be nice if it was just natural, from the heart.
Just natural, from the heart.
So how do we tell people that we care
deeply about them when we've just gotten off the freeway, or returned from a
trip to the super market or gotten one of a dozen phone calls that week
announcing that we qualify for a credit card from XYZ company? How do we switch
from emotions that are often tangled and jangled to an emotion that's really at
the core of who we are? Can we instantly call up that one feeling that might
have us weeping or dancing for joy if it were to be fully felt and expressed.
Oovah . . . the sixty-four-dollar question.
No simple task.
So my sister tries and her younger brother thinks,
what younger brothers sometimes think. Love? Yuk!, "Why do ya wanna ruin the
conversation with that kind of talk? Let's go play, enough of this love
stuff!"
What my sister's comment did do was get me thinking. Growing up, "I love you" wasn't something that I heard a lot. In fact, I can't recall ever hearing it. My parents were to busy doing what they had to do, to take care of the five of us. For me, looking back, that was love, expressed unequivocally. Yes, I guess it would have been nice to have the "I love yous" thrown about, so that now, as an adult, these words would be a natural part of my vocabulary, but they weren't, hence my present day discomfort.
And then there's the question of appropriate responses. What do I say, "dittos," or a "love ya toooooo," or maybe "oh gooosh?" Nothing seems to feel right. I'm just never comfortable when that "L" word comes floating my way. It's O.K. for others, and boy can the movies bring tears to my eyes when they capture that moment. But for me, for now, perhaps the "I loveee Youuu's" are better left for older sisters to say . . . and younger brothers to contemplate.
(c) Copyright 1995 by Robert Ross, All rights reserved
Robert Ross can be reached by E-mail at: SanDiegoRoss@Yahoo.com
Return To The Archives