My wife, who hit the big "Five Oh" twelve months before me described being 50 as "being invisible". You know, you walk into a social gathering place like a lively bar or restaurant and no one looks at you, no longing glances, none of those "hey, you're kind of cute" looks. Instead, you get an attentive clerk/waiter/waitress who calls you sir/ma'am. You've become in many ways invisible to the general population, a population that values youth. After all, you're now 50, you've reached the gates of what has been falsely dubbed "the golden years." You may be at the pinnacle, in terms of life experiences or career, but now, there's a good possibility that you'll be referred to as "that old guy/lady" by the younger generation. At fifty it's easy to get a sense that one is no longer a player. The problem is, now that I'm fifty, I don't feel that much different, my health is about the same, and my thinking is, if anything, a little more realistic. So what's the deal here? I'm still a person you know!
I'm just not quite ready for this golden years stuff. And if I were to believe all of those ads on T.V., I'd think that getting older was all fun and games. You've seen them, a grey haired couple dancing the night away on a cruise liner, or finishing up a rigorous game on the tennis court (that's after taking their senior citizen vitamins of course), or how about that bike ride in the countryside? Madison Avenue plays on our innermost fears, the fear of aging. "You're not getting older, you're getting better" is the mantra we hear. Take a vitamin and dance the night away! We all want this image of aging to be true. And yet, we know that there is no happy city, end of the rainbow, or leisure world that one finally reaches. As we age, the challenges take on greater significance. If anything, as one moves on in life, one needs to develop more courage. Courage to face a world which continues to be filled with problems and the courage to face certain inevitabilities, like the myriad of health problems that tend to come with aging. It was the author Etta Clark who titled a book "Growing Older Is Not For Sissies." No truer words were spoken.
So is there any advantage to turning fifty? Is there any benefit to watching the years slip by faster and faster? There is one advantage, with age comes experience and knowledge, and with that knowledge comes a certain confidence. We have, at fifty, "been there and done that". We've seen good times and bad, we've felt many joys and many sorrows and we have a grasp of what's possible and what's not. But can I honestly say I'm happy about turning fifty? Probably not. Oh . . . there is one other advantage to turning fifty I've been told. I will in the weeks to come receive in the mail and invitation to join AARP (American Association of Retired People). And if I accept their invitation, I will not only belong to the most powerful lobbying organization in Washington, but I believe I'll also receive 10% off on French fries at McDonalds. It just doesn't get any better!
Reaching the half century mark has caused me to stop and reflect. The boomers are now turning fifty, we're at the gates to the leisure world mentality, but for some reason I don't think we're going to accept the Madison Avenue version. I think for many of us who have watched our health and kept in shape, fifty will be a time to reflect, and then a time to recommit, recommit to living a vigorous life, recommit to living a life in which we are needed and valued and recommit to using our experience and knowledge to make the world we live in a better place.
Even though at fifty, we begin to see the finish line, we know in our hearts . . . there are still lessons to be learned and dreams to be dreamed.
Copyright 1995 by Robert Ross, All Right
Reserved
Robert Ross can be reached by E-mail at: SanDiegoRoss@Yahoo.com
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